The night is his domain. The shadow, his friend. Travelling is his healing. Early morning walks are his delight. He is a man of dawn. And any dawn can find him anywhere. Be it in Tharaka Nithi or in Thika or Thogoto or Thailand. Fun is his language. Depression is not his cup of tea. Meet Mickey Kutu. A guy whose life is a full blown adventure. He is one of the few people with a profound love for both Marian Keyes and Meryl Streep.
He looks like the kind of guy who would tap your shoulder at Koja and ask you “Hey. Do you have a nail cutter?” I also think he is the kind of person who is hated by doves. But a Bengal cat or a Sphynx cat would love him.
He is also the kind who can scurry away from a conversation, rush to his room and start packing. As a friend you’d be dazed. So you’d follow him and ask him “Hey. Dude. What’s up with you?” He’d give you a chilly response in the form of something like “I am going to Senegal to see how the Door of No Return looks like”.
You think I am exaggerating? Just listen to this. Early last year, a friend casually called him while we were having a chat and asked him “if he wants to go to Mount Kilimanjaro the next day”. Alicheza kiyeye. That following day, he was on his way to Kilimanjaro, Tanzania. At that point, I knew that God created two types of people in this world. The first one is the type that says no to Kilimanjaro on short notice and the second one is the type that says yes to Kilimanjaro on the shortest of notice. He is the latter.
My campus story started on 9th January 2017. If I am ever to tell this story someday, my starting point will be Mickey Kutu. He is the first person I talked to in campus on that cold January morning. No one ever forgets his or her first day at a place. The confusions, the newness, the thrill and the excitement all make it so memorable.
I was seated staring, particularly at nothing, in the vast hall. Sheria hall, its name I would learn. A large structure with the smell of emptiness except for the humming speakers and lonely-looking chairs. Mickey came into the room with nothing in hand except his phone. I don’t remember what we talked about, but I remember us becoming friends that day. We still are. The kind of friends who are connected by the ‘meme language’. I laugh at his memes. Sadly, I usually have no memes for him to laugh at.
Some friendships spark out of nowhere like that and soar into the highs of skies.. They can find you in a bus stop. Or in a movie shop. Or in an alley. Or, like this case, in a hall whose name starts with letter S. Remember Prison Break? That friendship between Michael Scofield and Fernando Sucre. How did that even start? The two ended up breaking out of prison. It all started with an unexpected encounter. You truly never know what friendships can crop out of your unexpected encounters.
I had this rare opportunity of engaging Mickey on the Q and A series. It was nothing short of hilarious.
If you could replace all the grass in the world with something else. What would it be?
Flowers…Tulips, roses. (Laughs) I’m not trying to kill Earth.
How many chickens do you think it’d take to kill an elephant?
Just a dead one actually. Just get the elephant to choke on one full dead and raw chicken.
Have you ever worked for an Indian?
No. But I’ve served Indian clients.
Would you marry an Indian girl from Diskit Village?
(Chuckles in German) I don’t know, never say never. All I can say is that you love who you love. Whether from Soweto or Diskit. It doesn’t really matter. But wait do I get dowry?
Yes you do. They’ll pay your parents dowry.
My dad would probably ship me off to Diskit them.
Do you fold your pizza when you eat it?
What. Nooo.
Best movie you’ve ever watched?
A star is born. Oh and Snow White. But the one from 1937. I was quite surprised such beautiful animation existed back then. And oh my, how could I forget The House of Spirits with Meryl Streep in it. A classic worth everyone’s time.
Do you like star wars?
I love Star Wars! Especially the ones with the original cast; Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamil.
What do you think of Master Yoda of Star Wars?
Love him on the movies. But I feel like it would be a rather creepy time hanging out with him in real life. (Chuckles like Chuck Norris).
No doubt about that. How many girls have you dated?
I’ve lost count. I’m damaged goods.
Would you hug a lioness for 5 million dollars?
Si unajua tu of course. (Laughter. From both ends)
If you could paint a picture of the best place you’ve ever visited. What would you paint?
It would be Usedom. It’s an island but on the Poland side. It’s the prettiest place I’ve ever been to.
Is it close to Germany?
Yes. It borders Germany.
Would you rather have a home on the beach or in the mountains?
I’d say the beach but I feel like I’d get sick of it in a fortnight. So I’ll take the mountains.
What’s your verdict on 13 Reasons Why Season 3? You like how Bryce lived his last days?
I loved it! I definitely loved it. Best series I’ve watched this year. I liked how they introduced Annie, so we had the view from an outsider’s stand point. Bryce, I loved that things weren’t black and white, his journey of change was grey, marred with self-doubt and doubt from others. I loved his final journey and I think it was definitely climatic and sensible that his death culminated in one final tape…you know…where it all started.
Impressive analysis. What is the one thing that will never miss in your future house?
Yoghurts. And a blender. You know my addiction to fruit juice.
What’s the best thing about staying in Kajiado?
I don’t really stay in Kajiado but I love that our neighbours aren’t close enough. So people don’t meddle much.
What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever heard people say about you?
I’m a clown. Basically everything people say about me is unsubstantiated laughable shit.
Name one thing you can’t live without.
Jesus.Or God. Or you know..whatever Supreme Being out there guiding me.
Do you think Masiga is a nerd?
Well definitely. But he’s a cool nerd with expensive shoes and great taste of Series.
What was the name of your first pet?
Papi. I’ve retained the name ever since.
What do you miss most about your teens?
Oh God. Everything. The outings. My friends. My teachers.
If you and Bettinah formed a singing band. What genre of music would you sing?
Rock. Wait a minute. I thought you knew this.
Nope. Didn’t know. You seem to like everything. From rap to metal. We’re done. Thanks for your time.
Thank you.
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