A new series is coming on the blog. It’s called Q and A. Can I hear an Aye! at the back? This doesn’t mean that i’ll stop writing stories in my usual format. On the contrary, it is just a complementary trajectory I am taking. I am already excited about it. Are you? You should be? It will be fun. At least I’ll try to make it that way. Life should be fun they say. So this is just my way of contributing to the overall amount of fun in the universe. Is that even a thing though? Like is there a body somewhere with people sitting in offices with their sole mandate being to determine the amount of fun that exist in the world? That sounds like a hilarious and fun job to do. But if there is such a body, those people are definitely ‘funtastic’. (Can’t believe I just did that).
So this is what Q and A will be about. As the name suggests and as some of you I know have already mapped out in your minds, it will be Questions and Answers. Okay don’t freak out. It is not exams. The questions are just random. And they are simple ones. Plus they are not divided into parts like those ones we used to see in high school History exams.
They are from all over. I could ask you something like “What do you think someone thought of before inventing tomato sauce?” or “What would you do if you knew you had a year to live?” Okay. That one sounds depressing. I won’t ask that. I hope you get the idea though. In short, they are just funny and witty questions that bring out the other side of people that are little known. I could ask the name of your pet or who your celebrity crush is or if you think Area 51 has aliens or not. I could also ask about what you dreamed of as a kid and which Bible story you loved most.
I won’t ask nerdy questions that are boring and make no sense or doesn’t apply to who you are as a person or what you do with your life. There is also no way I would even fathom to ask someone a question like “Do you think there is an equivalent of Black-Scholes for Futures Contract Pricing?” Those are things that interest only people like David Ndii. Besides, the question itself sounds like torture to someone who has never stepped into an Economics class.
So here’s an example of how it will be. Let’s assume that the person I am engaging is Person X. And I am…well I am Me.
(Starts)
(Me. Asking the questions in Bold): So X. Hello. How are you?
I am not fine. Never been fine ever since I was born. I mean who is? What does fine even mean? The only fine I’ve ever known is the court fine I was slapped two weeks ago for deflating the car tyres of my Anthropology lecturer.
Whoa. Interesting response. Do you like muffins?
Hell no. Why would I? They remind ghosts. I once had a bad dream of a huge ghost eating a huge muffin.
What’s your idea of fun?
Herding camels in Marsabit.
Ever been to Auckland?
Nope.
Why not?
People don’t just wake up and go to Auckland. They need money. I am broke.
What do you think of smoothies?
I think only babies should take them. So ask a baby that question.
Ever played tennis?
Yes. Loved it.
Do you think you are a cool person?
Yes. Definitely.
Why?
I don’t know. I bet it’s because I’m not hot.
Wanna hear a joke?
Yeah. Sure. I love jokes.
A ghost walks into a bar and finds the bartender. What do you think the bar tender told him?
Mmmm. We don’t serve spirits (chuckles).
Woow. Amazing. How did you know the answer?
I read it from a book. It’s called Can You Keep a Secret by Sophie Kinsella.
Fantastic. What book are you reading at the moment?
The Pelican Brief by John Grisham
Do you like lawyers?
Not at all. I find them to be very mean people. They revel in crashing people in court.
What’s your best kept secret?
I killed my neighbour’s dog and buried it in our backyard.
Wait. What? Why did you do that?
I was testing if dogs can eat meat with Sulphuric Acid as soup. The test was a success.
Unbelievable. Can you test the temperature of a hot pan with your lips?
I would. If there’s a good reward for it.
Alright. Thank you for your time. Any last words you have for whoever is reading this?
Winter is coming!!
So that right there is what I am talking about. Some of the answers above are a bit dramatic but that’s just the point. You can answer any of the questions in whatever manner you best see fit.
At this juncture I officially launch the Qs and As.
Who wants to go first?
Contact me on 0706411113 or email this address brandyotieno57@gmail.com
PS: This doesn’t require an actual meeting. It can be easily done through Whatsapp.
Lights out.
To read the previous post CLICK HERE
